Dad's Story
I know I've shared this with many of you, but here it is again. I wrote this as my dad was dying of cancer, adding the last of it a few months after his death. Today, as my sister Sara and I remember him and remember his going home to be with Jesus three years ago this morning, it seemed appropriate to post.
“For I know the plans that I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11
“Your dad has been having...episodes...while he is running. He feels like he’s thinking of things to say but can’t get them out. One side of his body is going numb...”
“...collapsed after his run...”
“He tried to write an email today and it didn’t make any sense...”
“Go to ER.”
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me. Psalm 23:4
“We’re going to do a CT.”
“...found a mass...”
“Brain Tumor.”
I wait for the Lord, my soul doth wait, and in his words do I hope. Psalm 130:5
Purgatory.
Saturday morning. Neurosurgeon’s office.
“...the size of a golf ball...”
Purgatory.
Wednesday morning. Sacred Heart.
MRI.
Brain Mapping.
Purgatory.
“We’re ready for you.”
Goodbyes.
Purgatory.
Surgery waiting.
People come and go.
Waiting...and waiting...
“We’ve just reached the tumor site...”
Eating without tasting.
Talking about everything that isn’t on our minds.
And waiting...
“We’ve removed the tumor...”
Our own Garden of Gethsemane.
“He who began a good work in him will perfect it unto the day of Christ Jesus.”
Purgatory.
“We’re just finishing up. The doctor will see you soon.”
“Come into the private waiting room and we’ll talk.”
“My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” Mark 15:34
“Glioblastoma Multiform. Cancer.”
“Radiation wafers, chemotherapy, more radiation...”
“Expressive aphasia...”
“Nothing we can do.”
“One year.”
Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
Lamentations 3: 22-23
“We’re pregnant!”
“Dad’s coming to church with me.”
“Happy Thanksgiving!”
“Merry Christmas!”
“It’s a girl!”
“If you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. Do you believe this?”
“Yes.”
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. Ecclesiastes 3:1-2
“He’s moving more slowly, more like an old man.”
“His speech is getting worse.”
“When he is asleep he stops breathing for eight seconds...fifteen seconds...twenty seconds...”
“...all natural tumor progression...”
Jesus wept. John 11:35
“...sleeping more and more...”
“Imminent.”
“I love you.”
“I love you.”
“I love you.”
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies, you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Psalm 23
“For I know the plans that I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11
“Your dad has been having...episodes...while he is running. He feels like he’s thinking of things to say but can’t get them out. One side of his body is going numb...”
“...collapsed after his run...”
“He tried to write an email today and it didn’t make any sense...”
“Go to ER.”
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me. Psalm 23:4
“We’re going to do a CT.”
“...found a mass...”
“Brain Tumor.”
I wait for the Lord, my soul doth wait, and in his words do I hope. Psalm 130:5
Purgatory.
Saturday morning. Neurosurgeon’s office.
“...the size of a golf ball...”
Purgatory.
Wednesday morning. Sacred Heart.
MRI.
Brain Mapping.
Purgatory.
“We’re ready for you.”
Goodbyes.
Purgatory.
Surgery waiting.
People come and go.
Waiting...and waiting...
“We’ve just reached the tumor site...”
Eating without tasting.
Talking about everything that isn’t on our minds.
And waiting...
“We’ve removed the tumor...”
Our own Garden of Gethsemane.
“He who began a good work in him will perfect it unto the day of Christ Jesus.”
Purgatory.
“We’re just finishing up. The doctor will see you soon.”
“Come into the private waiting room and we’ll talk.”
“My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” Mark 15:34
“Glioblastoma Multiform. Cancer.”
“Radiation wafers, chemotherapy, more radiation...”
“Expressive aphasia...”
“Nothing we can do.”
“One year.”
Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
Lamentations 3: 22-23
“We’re pregnant!”
“Dad’s coming to church with me.”
“Happy Thanksgiving!”
“Merry Christmas!”
“It’s a girl!”
“If you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. Do you believe this?”
“Yes.”
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. Ecclesiastes 3:1-2
“He’s moving more slowly, more like an old man.”
“His speech is getting worse.”
“When he is asleep he stops breathing for eight seconds...fifteen seconds...twenty seconds...”
“...all natural tumor progression...”
Jesus wept. John 11:35
“...sleeping more and more...”
“Imminent.”
“I love you.”
“I love you.”
“I love you.”
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies, you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Psalm 23
posted by The Bakers at 2:31 PM
4 Comments:
Megan, I don't like to read but I read it and it is good. It has a lot of feeling, I almost cried:). I miss your dad too. We had a lot of fun through the years. I am still rejoicing that he came to accept the Lord in the end.
"For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11
He knew what He was doing all along, and used it for His glory and probably will continue to use it for some time.
Megan I wanted to say almost the same exact thing. I came very close to crying and then felt great joy that my brother in law and my kids uncle is with Him right now! I am so happy for him. God has such amazing things for all of us if we reach out and take His hand. Thanks for sharing your poem with me.
As tears fill my eyes sweet girl, my heart is both aching and rejoicing for your Dad...Thank you for sharing you heart and God' great testament!
This really touched my heart Megan. Love you
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