Messes, Large and Small

This originally was just an email to Loren, but thought a lot of you moms out there could probably relate...

The house is quiet as I finish lunch. Empty bowl in hand, I pick my way across the minefield that is our dining room. Toys, dolls, an empty water cup litter the floor. Instead of the frustration that usually eats at me, I suddenly see our house with new eyes. The headband on the stairs makes me remember dreaming about being a mother, getting to do little girls' hair. The towels that spill from the dryer remind me of warm, wet little bodies, all pink and cuddly from their baths. And the ever-present chaos of toys, books, pillows, diapers, dishes, and DVDs that somehow seem to leave their homes as though repelled by magnetic force...well, they are a part of us, too. A part that goes well beyond the trite, "Count your blessings you have toys to play with." It's a mess. Our house, in its natural state, is a complete and utter mess. But today, as I survey the carnage, wondering where to begin, I think of the six of us that call this home. I picture Lily toddling across the living room with the bin of Playmobil pieces pressed against her chubby belly. I think of Abby running the length of the house, over and over, "esser-cizing." I think of Jaime and Emily, in intense concentration at the kitchen table, working on whatever craft their creative minds have dreamed up. And suddenly, picking it all up isn't such a priority. I see the mess, of course, but I also see the beautiful people whose lives are reflected in it. And it gives me a glimpse of how God, too, can see the mess, the utter chaos that is ME, and still love. At times, the mess does define us. In other seasons, my kids will learn to pick up, they'll understand the value of a wet towel on a towel bar, and they won't be so apt to scatter toys across any and every horizontal surface. But for now, in this season, I love them in spite of these things. And I pray, as I begin the endless task of picking up, that God would be merciful to continue helping me with the chaos in my own heart, trusting that as I too learn and grow, things won't always be quite this messy.