Prayer, Thanksgiving, and Lily

If you go to the very first post on this blog, you will see that it was created for Lily. Though she didn't have a name yet, we were looking for a way to chronicle what we knew would be our last pregnancy. Even after our first daughter, Jaime, was born in fetal distress at 29 weeks, and our fourth daughter, Tirzah, was stillborn, we had no answers as to what continued to go so severely wrong with our pregnancies. We'd made the decision that we would try for one last (eighth) time, and try to give each day of it to the Lord. And so we did, desperately. Each day, I endeavored to thank God for her heart quickening inside me, for one more day with her, and rest knowing that God numbers the days of every one of us, and I could rest in His sovereignty.

This last year, He has taught me this lesson again. Through Lily's hospitalization in June with pneumonia, and the heart sinking news that it was back in November, we've desperately tried to, each day, give her back to Him. Some days, better than others. Since November, as she's had continued nonspecific fevers and weight loss and general exhaustion, we've tested her for everything we can think of (and many things we never would have).

And tonight, I'm reminded of where we were at the beginning of her pregnancy. The dust has settled. We know many, many things she doesn't have. In spite of sweat tests and blood tests and CT scans, her illness remains a mystery. And so, we move forward, each day, trusting in His sovereignty. We move forward, praying desperately for our daughter, praying once again for life. Once again, we are left without a name for what it is we are even fighting, but also assured that we have a God who knows her and loves her and hears our prayers.

Throughout the months, I've captured numerous pictures that are part of Lily's story. Here's a few...

Our little diva getting breathing treatments in ER, June 2011:

Happily eating a cheeseburger while admitted for pneumonia, June 2011:

X-Rays at Rockwood, July 2011:

Pneumonia again, November 2011:

Getting a hug from daddy during her sweat test, December 2011:

Playing "I Spy" with Emily at Sacred Heart, December 2011:

Coloring at the pulmonologist's office, December 2011:

Brushing up on her patient history skills at the Pediatric Infectious Disease Specialist, December 2011:

Beauty beholds beauty, December 2011:

In six days, we celebrate five years of Lily Elianah Baker's life, and the "answered prayer" that she was and is. And we move forward. Waiting. Praying. Trusting. Thankful for each and every day.